This show is the future. The future of Nothing.

The Matt and Melissa Show broadcasts and experiments with various illicit substances weekly for an hour and a half. Now the podcast can be heard anywhere with internet; Hamilton, Vineland, Espanola, Fort McMurray, Sioux Lookout, Winnipeg, Inukjuak, Moncton, Dartmouth, Squamish, Moose Jaw and Taloyoak!

The Matt and Melissa Show. Episode 2.

The heatwave episode!

Last week we promised this episode would be the 'Keyboard Cleaner' huffing episode but as Matt says: "Its too hawt to huff keyboard cleaner". Sorry Allison.

Hottest Places in the World. You wouldn't believe some people don't just catch on fire but you will believe where they are. How much heat does Hamilton bring to the kitchen?

Five Minute Mark F*ck Ups

Is It Possible to Sweat to Death? Did Matt really get heatstroke? It turns out 'Rehydrate' is a word after all. Water Intoxication: It should be fun since its a type of intoxication right?

•1180 Canadians Killed in History's Deadliest Heatwave!

Candwich. Its a sandwich and it comes in a can and 3 lovely flavours to rot your gut! PB and Strawberry jelly, PB and Grape jelly and BBQ CHICKEN!

Tell Us How You Really Feel. Melissa shares her feelings on the Hamilton Spectator newspaper and reveals the one thing its good for.

Food Is Just Another Word For Crack. It turns out everyone knows this including Matt?!! (I didn't) If you already knew, tell us how you did at

Good News Everyone! They developed 2 more flavours of the Candwich!

You've Seen Fat Morrison & Skinny Morrison But You Haven't Seen Skeleton Morrison.

•I Like Pina Coladas and Matt Hates Getting Caught In The Rain. Alcohol that’s enjoyable in the heat.

Jennifer Saunders Isn't Dying Darling! Not yet anyway.

•BIRTHDAY B*TCHES! People you may or may not know had birthdays.

•Music News!

Someone Finally Got Around to Mapping Ozzy's DNA! ..and it wasn't Sharon.

The Lady Gag Gag Love Doll ...and its not a man!

•Finally, its TV HAT! It's 'hands-free' so you can watch porn on your lunch break! It also comes in 5 colours since 'camo' is a colour in the United States.

This weeks sponsor who gave us nothing:
Soave white wine. Ginger Ale. Welch's Grape Juice.

This weeks show is dedicated to nothing but:
Air conditioning. Which we will flaunt to people who live in the hottest places on Earth.

Check out our new feed subscriptions, links, drinks, stinks and pinks!

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